Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Haiku pt 2: The Defence edition

Hopefully an accurate description of what our D will do to the opposition next season....oh yeah, and it's some sort of haiku related wave picture. Dunno.

Faithful remnant! Welcome to part 2 of our haiku segment. We have been bringing to you these little thoughtful poems about every Leaf player likely to be on our roster in order that you may have some small windows of hope and serenity in cruel cruel August. Yes there are Olympic camps happening and yes there is compelling hockey news out there--speaking of which, the NHL wants to own the Phoenix Coyotes! Is that not craziness? How can a league, who officiates games impartially in order that teams with millions of dollars hanging in the balance can play out their own fate, actually own and operate a franchise? Like, how is that even sports anymore? Sure you may dislike Balsillie and his silly bald head, but you would scuttle the integrity of an entire sport to na-na-na-na-poo-poo a guy? What is the world coming too! It's like having a government run a bank!

Anyway, we free market libertarian types here at TOV realize that none of this is Leafs related and seeing as you are a devoted fan to the True Franchise (may all her wrist-shots be true) you are hankerin' for some...haiku'erin.

En garde!

Francois Beauchemin

Good street. Happy trails.
No matter the translation,
you will bring us wins.

Garnet Exelby

Garnet? Were you some
sort of farm boy in the late
forties growing up?

Jeff Finger

Kaberle you're not.
Except contractually.
So...epic fail?

Jonas Frogren

"My name is Jonas!
Do do do do do do doooo."
Plus, you look like Thor

Carl Gunnarsson

You won't make the team.
But dude, wicked last name! Light
it up at Ricoh.

Tomas Kaberle

I'm sorry for this.
I realize now that you should
stay here forever.

Michael Komisarek

You were once a Hab.
Even then I secretly
liked you. Glad you're here.

Luke Schenn

I bought your jersey!
It's, like, on my wall. *giggle!* need anything?

...cuz, like, you'll
you know, the Captain one day,
and I know...

No? You're good? Hey man,
that's like totally cool man.
Another time. Yup.

Mike Van Ryn

I hear Swarovskis is
making your bobble head doll
next season. Don't die :(

Ian White

Behold! The awesome
power of facial hair! Are
you a Nazarene?

Well, there you have it folks! Please feel free to compose your own haikus in the comment section. Remember, it's five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables and they must contain wit.

Stay tuned for our final, and much shorter, goalie haiku posting. By then we'll be feeling all loose and limber and ready to take one some much more weightier topics for the upcoming season.

Til then, keep the faith


Mike Pelyk's Hairdo said...

Ian White

That bottom lip thing.
Soul patch? Is better known as
Testicle Tickler

Johnny G said...

I laughed out loud at the Van Ryn one.